The Perils Of Sobriety

The Case Against January Jones or The People vs Betty Draper ...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:06:15 -0500

The Case Against January Jones or The People vs Betty Draper

January Jones was offered a shot to prove that she’s not the worst part of Mad Men when she hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend. She totally blew it. Will she be able to recover?

The short answer is probably not, but she sure will try. It was speculated that her busty cover of GQ and her SNL gig were a play for career-after-Mad Men because creator Matthew Weiner wasn’t bringing her back. She had an uphill struggle because many people believe that because she plays an icy, passive character on the show that she can’t act. While her cleavage did wonders for her public image, she did herself no favors with her lame stab at sketch comedy over the weekend.

Now that everyone thinks she can’t act, her chances at movie star fame ruined, and Betty Draper’s proximity to the central plot on the wane, what is Ms. Jones to do? Here are her options:

Indie Film: If she gets a plum role in an Oscar-bait indie and knocks the role out of the park, she could redeem herself and establish some much-needed street cred. Just look at what Precious is doing for Mo’Nique (of all people) right now.

Procedural: They must be casting for NCIS: Twin Cities or some shit like that. Actors in these jobs just need to be able to look good and deliver their lines, which we know that she can do. It’s not going to win her any awards, but it will be a steady acting job and a big fat paycheck for years to come.

Girlfriend Roles: Join the Judd Apatow crew or play the remarkably attractive love interest for some schlub like Adam Sandler. If the movie hits big no one will confuse you with a Stella Adler devotee, but you’ll be able to get some more jobs out of it.

Sex Tape: This will get her tons of attention, but in terms of work, the best she can hope for is a reality project (see Hilton, Paris and Kardashian, Kim). Still it would be lots of fun to watch.

Obscurity: She doesn’t have to be an actress. Maybe she would be better suited as a lunch lady who mumbles to herself, “I used to be someone!” We always did see her in hair nets.

(Source)

"If you do eventually find a spot, you shouldn’t have to suffer the humiliation of getting kicked out..."

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:49:26 -0400

“

If you do eventually find a spot, you shouldn’t have to suffer the humiliation of getting kicked out of an almost-empty section by a guy in a goofy hat who may later be yelling, “Where’s a pledge? I need a Sprite!” to no one in particular. (While the girl in front of him suddenly realizes how hard it will be to get the sticky Sprite out of her hair.)

But as I was sitting between the guy with the “Eat Sh*# Auburn” hat and the dude stirring the liquor into his drink with a “Tide To Go” pen, I was wondering if I really cared that much about making a point.

”

- People at UGA are throwing a shitfit about the new general admission student seating. They do not understand the greek block. Which is fine by me as long as they continue to write hysterical articles like this one in the red and black. By far my favorite -“a guy in a goofy hat who may later be yelling, “Where’s a pledge? I need a Sprite!” to no one in particular.” Blake, were you at the Georgia-South Carolina game? (via brklyn)

College Football Week 2 Predictions

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 11:10:38 -0400

No. 18 Notre Dame (27) at Michigan (24)

UCLA (17) at Tennessee (28)

Florida International (3) at No. 4 Alabama (41)

Vanderbilt (17) at No. 11 LSU (30)

South Carolina (16) at No. 21 Georgia (10)

Mississippi State 14 at Auburn 21

No. 3 USC (34) at No. 8 Ohio State (17)

No. 16 TCU (28) at Virginia (10)

Purdue (20) at Oregon (17)

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Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:34:41 -0400

The Doors = The Most Overrated Band In The History of...

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:31:24 -0400

The Doors = The Most Overrated Band In The History of Music

(photo via lovehaight)

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Sun, 02 Aug 2009 01:50:56 -0400

St. James Infirmary Blues

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 01:50:41 -0400

St. James Infirmary Blues

Now I went down to the St. James Infirmary, Saw my baby there; She was stretched out on a long,...

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 01:50:00 -0400

Now I went down to the St. James Infirmary,
Saw my baby there;
She was stretched out on a long, white table,
So sweet, so cold, so fair.

Let her go, let her go, God bless her,
Wherever she may be,
She will search this wide world over,
But she’ll never find another sweet man like me.

Now, when I die, I want you to bury me
In my straight laced suit and a stetson hat,
Put a twenty-dollar gold piece in my pocket,
So you can let all the boys know I died standing pat.

An’ give me six crap shooting pall bearers,
Let a chorus girl sing me a song.
Put a red hot jazz band by my coffin
So we can raise Hallelujah as we go along.

So now that you have heard my story,
Say, boy, hand me another shot of that booze;
If anyone should dare to ask you,
Tell ‘em I’ve got those St. James Infirmary blues.

New Orleans, LA - Photo taken March 2008

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 01:32:16 -0400

New Orleans, LA - Photo taken March 2008

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Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:56:22 -0400

Total Buzzkill.

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:49:54 -0400

Total Buzzkill.

Rewatching Dexter Season 2. I forgot how much I hated...

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:30:11 -0400

Rewatching Dexter Season 2. I forgot how much I hated Lila.

Total Bitch.

Finally Used Formspring:

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:16:00 -0400

Ask me any anonymous question or comment about my tumblr (good or bad)

and I will answer it or change/do more of whatever the comment might say.